I'm tired of living the mundane. I lived the World Race last year, and this year I have accomplished nothing. I have held various jobs, even moved across the country for a job. I have bought a car, live in my own place and I'm doing the things I'm "supposed" to do. I tried to do things with missions, but no doors were opening, and so I thought maybe it wasn't the time for me. I'm not sure what happened, but I now know this- the mundane, the regular, is not for me.

I have always said I'm not cut out for a 9-5 job. I'm not cut out for a routine and what most see as "normalcy". I want more for my life, I have tasted more in my life, and I'm just not satisfied without it. What I have realized is that with this "regular" life, it's just too difficult to have a relationship with God. I understand why the poor and hungry of the world have such a greater passion for God than most do here in North America. They NEED God. God is the only way they will survive. Essentially, I can survive here in North America without God.   I'm tired of merely surviving. I want to LIVE! I need to go back to the nations- not just to spread the kingdom, but for myself! I am in NEED of NEEDING God.

Last year on the race there were some difficult times, yet I was always able to turn to God, and be drawn in. I lived in a community that wouldn't leave me behind. I have been wondering why, although it was difficult, was I still able to rely on God, yet here, when I have plenty of time, and I have a more comfortable life has it become so much more of a chore to be in relationship with God? I believe it is because I don't feel the same sense of urgency for Him. I want to be in need of God again. My soul longs for the community I still see happening at AIM, and with various parts of my squad. I desire to return to the closeness God and I had last year, and I don't think that can happen here.   I still love God, still trust God for all of His promises, and I know that in the right time He will bring me from this season into a new one. I am trying to look for the lesson in this- maybe I am learning to be content wherever I am, and maybe my lesson is just discovering the NEED.

I’m going to include a little story here. When we were in South Africa last year a few of us went out to do some Marketplace ministry a couple of times (Terri Cash actually stayed on to do that and is STILL THERE). Basically we went to a business and prayed with the owners and workers for their personal lives, and for the business to have God’s favour- that things would go smoothly and increased profits. Well I tried this a couple of months ago at a business I worked at. I started praying that our sales would increase and IMMEDIATELY the sales went WAY up. Every day I prayed our sales would be twice as much as they had been. If I stopped praying, then our day would just not go very well. Praying for your company works! I told my boss that I was praying and that’s why our sales were going up and he thought that was great!

What is your deepest desire in the very depths of your heart? If you could do, or see, or be ANYTHING what would you want? My mom and I play a game, every time we see a lottery commercial on T.V. What would you do with the grand prize (be it one million, 42 million or a million dollars a year for life)? We both start to dream big dreams about homes, cars, travelling and philanthropy. While she dreams of a log home by a lake filled with grandchildren, I dream of fluttering all around the world holding orphans, and encouraging abused women (as well as seeing a few world wonders along the way). While both of our minds wander to very different places, both are big dreams. God has given us different desires for what we would do if we had all the money in the world. So what are your big dreams?

God has dreamed some pretty big dreams for your life. He is the author of all amazing things. I know some pretty incredible people, who once they started dreaming God's dreams, have seen some really huge things happen. I have even seen it in my own life. Let me tell you a bit about my story.

My whole life I had dreamed of seeing the world. I wanted to leave my little bubble, and go out and explore the world- see what there was to see, meet new people and never be tied down by anything. While this dream was never quite the same- at some points I was going to live in Africa and open a school, an orphanage, and hospital, and at other points I was going to be a hotel critic and try out all the best things in the world for free- my desire was always to go out into the world. Somewhere along the way though, I let my dreams die. I got sidetracked with life, and what I was "supposed" to be doing. After high school, I went to university, I got engaged, and began to settle into the idea of being married, and having a job to pay the bills. I had lost sight of the desires God had planted within me from a very young age. 

Fortunately for me, God reawakened my spirit before things went too far. I was able to break off the engagement, and finish school with no responsibilities except to follow God's leading. Guess where He called me? He called me to live out my biggest dreams! I got to go into the nations and be a part of a community of believers from across North America, and travel with them all over the world. I fed the hungry, clothed the naked, and loved the unloved. I began to dream big, and dream God's big dreams for me again, and along the way I even got to see some Wonders of the World too. 

I encourage you to keep following your dreams. Don't get distracted like I did. You have big dreams for a reason. God is the master of the universe, through Him nothing is impossible. Dream your biggest dreams, explore where you never dared exploring. God has a lot more in store for you than you can ever imagine. He even has big plans for you for where you are right now. What are your biggest dreams and goals to accomplish before you finish high school? Is it to see the salvation of your best friend? To start a soup kitchen in your community? To travel the world do God's work?   Whatever it is, dream your big dreams and watch as God works in your life to make them happen.

To find out more about The World Race click here.

You are standing on the edge. The bottom is a long way down. Do you jump? The ropes have all been tested. The owner assures you that he even lets his small children take the jump. You are promised over and over that it is safe. Do you trust it?

Jumping off of a cliff is similar to taking a leap of faith. God has given you promises in His word. He will catch you if you fall, He is going to provide for you, guide you, and bring good from every situation. He is never going to disappoint you. Do you trust Him?

I have been home now from the World Race for almost 3 months. Coming off of the field isn't the easiest thing. At first I thought I was fine, that I didn't have much adjusting to do, but I have realized that it isn't the first few weeks that are difficult, at least for me. For me, the first month was fun- I saw lots of friends and family, celebrated Christmas and New Years. It was after that that I began to shut down. Everyone went back to their routines, leaving me to shuffle through my life on my own. No longer was I living with 27 people, no longer was I packing up every week or two.   No longer was in a new and exciting place, and I wasn't being fulfilled with reaching out and helping others, and I stopped growing like I was used to.

I live in a small town with my parents, most of my friends live in other cities. There is no one at my church my age, and I was having a very difficult time being motivated to do anything. I got a small babysitting job for a few hours each day, but the majority of my time I sat on the couch doing nothing. I was BORED! I didn't have anything to do, I didn't have anyone to talk to, and I didn't know what to do with myself anymore. I have never felt so purposeless, I almost felt as if I were dying. This is such a change to how I felt on the race, the opposite of how I thought I should be doing, and I just kept slipping farther down. It's a slippery slope once you lose track.

I desperately needed some time with my good friends from university and of course my World Race family. I took a trip at the end of January and beginning of February to see just these people. I spent a few days in Windsor reconnecting with my university friends, and speaking at the InterVarsity Christian Fellowship there before heading to Michigan to see Tammy and then on to Port Huron to see all of the wonderful people who have moved there to be on World Race Staff. I was able to spend a few hours of time with Michael and Kathy Hindes, the directors of the World Race, and the coaches from my squad last year. They were able to talk some sense into me, help me to make a plan, encourage me and pray for me. They reminded me of who I had become, and helped me to see how I could live that out at home. 

Since I have been back from my southern extravaganza (yes, to me, Michigan is south) I have really begun to feel more alive again. It was just the encouragement I needed. I have joined a college and career small group at another church nearby, and made a new friend there. I have 2 job interviews this week, and I am looking forward to some near future plans with AIM (I'll let you know more, when I know more). Things are looking up, and I am more excited about getting out of bed each day. Since I have been home God has been teaching me things again. It never ceases to amaze me how God will teach you, if you are listening.

God also has a sense of humour. After my month of suffocating in my own house God thought He would teach me about life. He thought that it would be the perfect time to give me a good Christian worldview, and teach me how to live my life passionately- no matter where I am.  To many, this would me reaching beyond their comfort zones, to expanding their worldview to include the people of the world. For me, this means living out my Christian worldview IN my comfort zone, to the people of my town, and the people I have grown up with.

I have been learning about this from 3 different sources, all at the same time. It was when the subject kept coming up, and I was drawing connections between them that it clicked that MAYBE I should be learning something here. MAYBE God was trying to teach me something. Just maybe. In my small group we are going through the material The Truth Project by Focus on the Family. It is a 12 week DVD series for believers to be able to gain a Christian Worldview. So far we have had 2 lessons- what is truth, and philosophy and ethics- what is right and wrong. We are challenged to think about WHY we believe what we do, and how to live as though we really believe it. 

I began reading a book the other day, The Gospel According to Starbucks. I am only a couple of chapters in, but I see where the main premise is going to take me throughout the chapters. It is demonstrating why holding to the Christian Worldview- living the life, not just stopping by church once a week, is vital to the continuation of Christianity. How is it that Starbucks does so well, yet churches struggle to keep people coming? Because Starbucks is a lifestyle, while Christians have lost the passion that Jesus came to give us.

The biggest realizations I have had have come through the beginning of reading the book of John. Right there in John 1:4 it says In Him there is life. God said to me through this that it doesn't matter where I am or what I am doing, I should always feel alive because it is Jesus that brings me life. The life can't be sucked out of me, as I had felt like, but I can only choose to stop tapping into the Life Source. 

In John 4:14 it says the water I give will become a spring of water gushing up inside that person, giving eternal life. Jesus wants to fill us with the Holy Spirit. He says in John 10:10 that He came to bring life in its fullness. The Greek word here is zoe, passionate life. Jesus came to give us Grande Passion! He is the LIFE. When He is in you, there is no dying. There is no boredom, no purposelessness. 

God is the God of LIFE! Everyday we can wake up and know that we are living. Anywhere you are- whether working 9-5, whether in a town of 1200, whether you are in the literal middle of nowhere in Bolivia, Mozambique, or Cambodia- you can be living a passionate, sold out life bringing kingdom to those around you. I encourage you to begin your life of Grande Passion today! Get connected to the Life Source and see where He may lead you.